Month: December 2014

Compulsion to Work

I am feeling pulled in two opposing directions. One is the compulsion to “work” on the difficult feelings that I am experiencing, the other the need to distract, support and nurture myself. I remember reading in a self-help book that the urge to “work” on problems is a mind trick which doesn’t actually lead to the resolution of the troubling issue. It would be more beneficial to me to go watch a kids movie, spend time with nature or spend time on a hobby.

© northernrose17 and A Therapeutic Art Journey, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to northernrose17 and A Therapeutic Art Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Finding Reality Difficult To Face

Here I am turning my back on reality because I find it very difficult to confront and accept. My therapist has tried to force me to confront a difficult reality and in response I have experienced intense fear and rage. The flames inside reality illustrate my “hot” emotions.

© northernrose17 and A Therapeutic Art Journey, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to northernrose17 and A Therapeutic Art Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Recognising That I’ve Gone Off Track

I’ve gone back to expressing some of my thoughts using paper and pencil as I am experiencing difficult feelings and paper and pencil enables me to illustrate and express my thoughts much more quickly than paint and canvas.

Here I am recognising that I have taken a harmful path in response to a difficult issue. I am questioning where the point of making a choice which path to follow took place and how I get get myself back on a more helpful path.

 

© northernrose17 and A Therapeutic Art Journey, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to northernrose17 and A Therapeutic Art Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Tangled

A difficult conflict with my therapist left me feeling terribly confused about myself, my issues and what was and was not okay for a therapist to do. Tangled describes how I felt at the time.

 

© northernrose17 and A Therapeutic Art Journey, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to northernrose17 and A Therapeutic Art Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Teddy Love

After abandoning “What’s Important”, what came to me was to create something colourful. I decided to create something which would be fun and nurturing for my inner child. Whilst working on this piece, the thought came to me that actually I would like to earn my living creating child-like pictures, rather than return to a stressful office environment at some point. Wishful thinking!

© northernrose17 and A Therapeutic Art Journey, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to northernrose17 and A Therapeutic Art Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Client-Therapist Communication

Sometimes, therapists do something outside of the therapeutic conversation which invokes difficult and confusing feelings for the client. I have again found myself grappling with this issue and I feel rather angry about it. Why did this extra issue have to be dumped on me?  I find it really difficult to say to my therapist when these issues arise. I know she would want me to tell her but it’s difficult when you feel fear and shame in response to the issue. The intention of this cartoon was to express some of the experiences I’ve had in therapy; I wanted it to be sarcastic, a way of expressing the anger that I feel, and also to acknowledge that I am grappling with this issue in an adult way. I’ve lived a very isolated life previously and through the therapeutic relationship, I am gradually learning how to get along with another person, how to tolerate differing opinions and how to work through frustrations through communication, rather than continue to isolate myself instead. Therapists are not perfect; they are people dealing with their own issues, and in some cases, people yet to get to grips with keeping their private lives private online.

© northernrose17 and A Therapeutic Art Journey, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to northernrose17 and A Therapeutic Art Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What’s Important

As I finished the write up for the previous post, “Finding My Religion”, thoughts of what is important came into me and generated an image. I initially came up with gratitude, compassion, respecting others and the nature around us, faith in others, giving freely, and making time for one another. A little while afterwards it occurred to me that a few things may be missing from the list. The first was love. I think actually all of the things listed are actually about love. I also thought of honesty, which comes under respect, and forgiveness, which comes under compassion. This image felt important at the time and so I started creating it with acrylics on canvas. The intention was to show a picture illustrating each of the 6 important things. I felt anxious when I started working on the image. I think that may be due to fear of showing affection towards others.

A few days later I returned to working on the picture, however I felt now that I really didn’t like it. I felt both anger and anxiety towards it. Something inside of me shouted “I hate this picture”. I’m not sure if it was a reaction to the content or the quality of the picture. I considered other ways I could depict the things I felt important and nothing felt right. In the end, I have decided to let go of this image for now. I have created a pencil sketch of what was planned and included it in the blog because I think it contains some important things to think about.

© northernrose17 and A Therapeutic Art Journey, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to northernrose17 and A Therapeutic Art Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.