Month: May 2016

The Egg Donor

 

After using my painting to explore letting go of my own egg (see Letting Go) and gifts in general (see The Gift), I now felt ready to depict the donor egg. I wanted to make it sparkly because it is such a precious gift. The red heart shows the love with which the egg is offered, and the love that I already feel towards towards the donor. The writing around the egg reads “I offer you my egg”.

It felt important to include the donor in this image, and not just the egg, because the donor is as important as the egg. Without the donor there is no egg.

This feels like one of my most emotional paintings. When the idea was first conceived, the idea of putting it onto canvas felt uncomfortable, but I have allowed myself to travel through those feelings of discomfort. I felt fine painting the donor, but when it came to deciding how to decorate the egg, the emotion hit me. I am pleased with how the painting has turned out.

© northernrose17 and A Therapeutic Art Journey, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to northernrose17 and A Therapeutic Art Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Advertisements

The Gift

Whilst contemplating IVF using a donor egg, I started to reflect upon receiving the gift of a donor egg. It led me to think about what was involved in both giving, and receiving, a gift. Initially, the idea of creating an image of a donor egg felt too potent, and so I decided to generalise and think about gifts in general. The gift box is different colours on different sides as I wanted to represent different aspects or shades of receiving a gift. The red side shows more positive sides of receiving a gift. The purple side depicts what the gift is and the plum side, the more negative aspects and feelings 

 

© northernrose17 and A Therapeutic Art Journey, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to northernrose17 and A Therapeutic Art Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Letting Go

Over the past couple months I have been allowing myself to seriously consider using a donor egg in my attempts to have a child. Aged 40 and with 3 failed IVFs behind me, the likelihood of success with my own eggs is now very small. This is a difficult decision to work through. Not only must the impact on a donor conceived child be considered, but there is also grief to be worked through for the mother, grief that time has run out with her own eggs, grief at the loss of the genetic child, grief that the child will not share her physical characteristics.

I have created this image as a step in letting go of having a genetic child. I’m letting go of things associated with having a genetic child, dropping them into a stream and letting them float away. In the picture, I’ve let go of my previous own egg failed pregnancies (Tadpole & Bean), a pregnancy magazine (painful reminder from previous attempts), dietary supplements to help improve egg quality, a child that looks like me, time (with my own eggs), and I’m letting go of my own egg. On the forest floor I have written a few nurturing words to help me with this: self compassion, acceptance, forgiveness, self care and everything changes. I chose a forest scene because I feel safe and grounded in woodland. The stream is golden as the image I based it on had golden gravel with clear water on top.

 

© northernrose17 and A Therapeutic Art Journey, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to northernrose17 and A Therapeutic Art Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.