Month: November 2016

A Dark Weave

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After creating the Scared picture my mood dropped and I found myself in a dark place. It wasn’t all bad though – creative ideas began to emerge. The first idea was to create a piece of weaving all in grey reflecting my dark mood and that is what I have done here. Grey isn’t a colour I would normally use and is a reflection of my dark mood. I completed this piece in only 24 hours. I threw myself into expressing the dark and broken place that I was in. The hole in the middle, the top layer of tassels having different lengths and the hanging cord being comprised of pieces of yard tied together (not visible in the photo) represent the broken feeling. As I expressed my feelings through this piece, I did find my mood lifting.

 

© northernrose17 and A Therapeutic Art Journey, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to northernrose17 and A Therapeutic Art Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Scared

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I’m dealing with multiple difficult issues at the moment and to top it all, I just received a re-assessment form for my state benefits. The threat of losing some or all of the financial assistance I receive is worrying me and propelling me towards more suicidal thoughts. So I decided to externalise my worries on canvas as doing something creative may help to soothe me and may create a little distance between myself and my thoughts and feelings.

The smaller text in the picture reads:

My father will come and get me

I will be told off

I will die because there is no other solution to the difficulties.

I wont live in a nice house again.

I wont ever have a child.

No one will help me.

 I will lose my home.

I will become homeless.

Birthday and Christmas without presents will be too painful.

I wont have a family again.

I wont fulfil my potential.

I wont be able to share all of me.

I will lose my benefits.

I wont ever be able to afford a cat.

I wont ever have a close female friend.

No one will love me.

I will never hold a baby.

I wont be able to be a good Mum.

I wont be able to do paid work again.

I will be judged condemned by the rest of my family because they don’t know my story.

I will be plagued by anxiety for the rest of my life.

© northernrose17 and A Therapeutic Art Journey, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to northernrose17 and A Therapeutic Art Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vulnerable Child Collage

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My inner vulnerable child has been erupting due to the issues that I am currently grappling with. So I decided to spend some time with her doing something that she liked. We sat on the floor together and made this collage. I think she wanted to say “I’m here”. I limited the source material to a single seasonal holiday booklet to make the choices easier. I wasn’t expecting a vulnerable person to create a warm looking viking! She wanted to include the tree as she likes sparkly things.

© northernrose17 and A Therapeutic Art Journey, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to northernrose17 and A Therapeutic Art Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

The Red Time of the Month

When experiencing mood issues and you have nothing better to do, I think it a good idea to direct one’s experience onto canvas.

I am currently in a storm. My head is full of irritable energy. I have been awaiting my period for days. Maybe my mood is hormonal; maybe it is the things I am dealing with at the moment. The red time of the month is the storm as well as the bleed. I hope it isn’t long before the calm after the storm.

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An Emotional Weave

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I experienced a compulsion to create this piece which lasted a week before I started work, meaning it was important. I did not know what the piece about, only that textures and the colours cream, brown and yellow needed to feature in it. Over that week I received a couple of insights. I was unsure what shade of yellow was needed but felt drawn towards a greenish yellow. Then I remembered, during the second half of my teenage years I had a top in this colour. The second insight was “holding my hand”. The purpose of this piece is to offer support teenage me, specifically ages 16-18, when I was growing up emotionally alone.

The colours used are significant:

  • yellowy green is teenage me and the emotional pain from that time
  • sunshine yellow is hope
  • pink is care for me
  • cream and beige is support for me
  • brown and grey started out as grounding, though I’m not sure about them now.

This piece is read from bottom to top. The narrow line of pink near the bottom left represents the emotional care that I received at that time, i.e. not much. The size of the yellowy green areas gradually increased as my willingness to feel the pain increased. Working these areas released a lot of grief. I worked slowly through this, supporting myself. After the largest area of yellowy green I needed support so tried to surround myself with more cream. Later in the smaller area of yellowy green, I acknowledged that the pain is still there and I offered myself some care through the pink. Hope for a better future is present throughout (yellow). There were a lot of threads to tidy up at the end and working through these felt like nurturing myself.

This piece has been emotional and sensually driven, and I feel like I have done a good piece of therapeutic work in this weave.

© northernrose17 and A Therapeutic Art Journey, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to northernrose17 and A Therapeutic Art Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.