I experienced a compulsion to create this piece which lasted a week before I started work, meaning it was important. I did not know what the piece about, only that textures and the colours cream, brown and yellow needed to feature in it. Over that week I received a couple of insights. I was unsure what shade of yellow was needed but felt drawn towards a greenish yellow. Then I remembered, during the second half of my teenage years I had a top in this colour. The second insight was “holding my hand”. The purpose of this piece is to offer support teenage me, specifically ages 16-18, when I was growing up emotionally alone.
The colours used are significant:
- yellowy green is teenage me and the emotional pain from that time
- sunshine yellow is hope
- pink is care for me
- cream and beige is support for me
- brown and grey started out as grounding, though I’m not sure about them now.
This piece is read from bottom to top. The narrow line of pink near the bottom left represents the emotional care that I received at that time, i.e. not much. The size of the yellowy green areas gradually increased as my willingness to feel the pain increased. Working these areas released a lot of grief. I worked slowly through this, supporting myself. After the largest area of yellowy green I needed support so tried to surround myself with more cream. Later in the smaller area of yellowy green, I acknowledged that the pain is still there and I offered myself some care through the pink. Hope for a better future is present throughout (yellow). There were a lot of threads to tidy up at the end and working through these felt like nurturing myself.
This piece has been emotional and sensually driven, and I feel like I have done a good piece of therapeutic work in this weave.
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