Month: January 2017

Letting Go of a Sperm Donor

letting-go-of-sperm-donor_small

I started another round of IVF last week and was forced to choose a new sperm donor. I have encountered an emotional blockage during this process which has made it difficult for me to accept a new donor. I did really like my previous donor and am not sure if the emotional blockage has been about losing him, or the previous IVF losses in general. I decided to create this picture of letting go of my last donor in the hope that it will help me to move forward.

© northernrose17 and A Therapeutic Art Journey, 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to northernrose17 and A Therapeutic Art Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Express It Loud

express-it-loud_small

During my childhood I was discouraged from expressing myself and this was quite damaging for me. Over the past year I have started to become more able and wanting to express myself. I have felt sadness at having been shut down as a child, and determined as an adult to be myself more. I created this picture as an antidote to the childhood programming and to reinforce the message of expressing things.

It was important to incorporate noise into this piece. The pink hanging thing is a proper working rattle. In the middle is bells from cat toys; And the push button on the right makes a very loud squealing monkey noise 🙂

© northernrose17 and A Therapeutic Art Journey, 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to northernrose17 and A Therapeutic Art Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Do Something AMAZING

do-something-amazing_small

One of my mental health workers has several times suggested that I do something amazing. With my head giving me grief, I decided to distract it by creating this amazing picture. The dots and stars are all sparkly and the worker liked the picture 🙂

 

© northernrose17 and A Therapeutic Art Journey, 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to northernrose17 and A Therapeutic Art Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

IVF 5

ivf-5_small

In November I went through my fifth IVF, the second attempt using donor eggs. Like the first attempt with donor eggs, it resulted in no viable embryos. For several weeks  afterwards I felt unable to do anything creative (due partly to another difficult situation which cropped up at the same time). This week I had the opportunity to start another donor egg cycle however I realised that I wasn’t ready to go through it all again. And so I decided to create this picture to make contact with the difficult feelings from the previous attempt and hopefully ready myself to try again.

In the centre is the one embryo which did grow for a few days. As it was a case of deja vu, I chose to depict the embryo the same shape and size as the picture I created following my previous attempt (see My Red Haired Embryo). The embryo reached seven cells, hence the seven hexagons inside the embryo, and was very fragmented. The donor had hazel eyes and blonde hair, represented by the hazel like ring and yellow bits. I was very stressed and wanted to depict this with the swirling blue and purple.

It’s fingers crossed for a better outcome next time.

© northernrose17 and A Therapeutic Art Journey, 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to northernrose17 and A Therapeutic Art Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.